I’ve read a lot of articles at Yahoo! Finance and Bankrate (and similar sites) that stress the importance of parent’s taking care of their financial lives versus worrying about paying for college. Yet it seems to me that when I read blogs or other venues with discussions, there are a number of people who seem to think that parents should do whatever it takes to pay for college. Some feel so strongly on this topic that they feel that you are not taking care of your child if you do not cover the cost of higher education. This post is to address my feelings on the topic of not being able to (fully) cover your child’s higher education. Here are some of my thoughts.

Just because people can’t pay for college doesn’t mean that they don’t truly love and care about the well-being of their children. I would think that I’m just stating the obvious here, but I think in light of some of the discussions that I’ve witnessed I believe it bears repeating. There are many wonderful loving people in our society, who simply can’t afford the cost of college tuition. I shudder to think of a society where we (openly) discourage the janitor married to the grocery store clerk, or the minister married to the bus driver, or the social worker married to the teacher that they shouldn’t have children, because they wouldn’t be able to contribute much to the cost of their child’s higher education. What about those who may have limited means, but welcome other people’s children (by birth) into their homes? Sometimes I hear people going down this train of thought and I think that it’s important to step back and put everything into perspective.

There are people all over the world who are barely surviving. There are places were if children can get some education at all, there have a tremendous advantage. I truly believe that the parents of children in those countries and lower income people in more affluent nations love their children as much as people in more privileged areas and classes do. We all want to do right by our children, our nephews and nieces, grandchildren etc. But to me that means being a good steward of the resources we have available to us, be it money, time, etc. and being honest with our children about our limitations. If we teach our children that love transcends financial resources, then no matter what level of support we can afford to provide, we can have loving healthy relationships with our children.

As a child of a family that wasn’t able to contribute much to my education, I am very thankful to my mother for my upbringing and feel that she did right by me. While my college wasn’t completely paid for by family funds, work studies, grants, and scholarships requiring me to take out loans, I am still deeply indebted to my mother and our family friends for the lessons that they taught me that I could never learn in school, and which will take me farther than the big name school written on my diploma.

If you’re curious as to what those lessons are, check back later this week.