Life
Archived Posts from this Category
Archived Posts from this Category
Posted by cami on 28 May 2008 | Tagged as: Life
I am starting to realize that there will always be someone “better.” No matter how hard you work there will always be someone who: saves more for retirement, gets a better deal, finishes faster, loses weight more easily, pays down their loans faster, drives less, uses less energy, ad infinitum. Furthermore with the advent of the internet, they might just tell you so. I really can’t tell you how many times I’ve read a pf blog and the author talks about ways you can save in X area, and everyone writes in to say just how much they saved in X area as if it’s a contest. The same goes for other types of “achievements” like recycling and athletics as well. But you know what I’m starting to realize, truly realize: it is not in fact a contest. If you can meet your goals, then you have won. If really doesn’t matter if Jenny in Wisconsin only spent $1625 on a wedding and you spent $6500 if you had the wedding that you wanted and paid for it responsibly. You probably could get married for less than $5o, but would you want that? And even if you are the person who is “better”, what exactly does that get you, in and of itself? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there aren’t tangible benefits to savings and responsible spending, exercise, conservation, etc., but I think when we are seeking to make achievements at a certain level simply for the bragging rights, we lose sight of what’s really important. For example, if the cost of your wedding is the most important thing to you (whether it be high or low), personally I think that you’ve pretty much missed the point. And if you only run races to win them, you’ll miss out on so many good moments because you’re worried about someone else being better.
Posted by cami on 09 Mar 2008 | Tagged as: Life
I would be flat broke. Seriously. I feel like I start off the week with a manageable number of tasks and plenty of time to get them done, and yet somehow some things always get squeezed out. To make matters worse, it’s always the same things that get squeezed out, like blogging and cleaning and organizing. And I like blogging, I really do. Truth be told I don’t even mind cleaning and organizing within reason, but somehow they get pushed down the priority list. I think a lot of it has to do with guilt and the feeling that I’m not going to live up to some expectation. If I don’t clean my room, no one has to deal with it but me and the dog (and I’m really not that concern with her feelings on the matter). But if I don’t put full effort into an assignment what will my professors think of me? I realize that it’s silly and that prioritizing your time (just like any other resource) requires that you make some sacrifices. I also think that no matter what you choose, someone is going to be disappointed: I’m not talking about them being let down because you didn’t do something that you were supposed to do, more that you didn’t do all that they thought you could (and therefore should do). If this is truly the case, then I guess I need to learn to deal with the guilty feelings (i.e. get over it).
Fortunately I think my problem is not that I have too many activities, but that some areas of my life (classwork, triathlon training) seem to squeeze everything else out. The nice part about this is, that I don’t have to quit anything, I just have to scale back. And I’m trying, it’s just going to take some time. Perhaps I could set a maximum amount of time per week for everything related to that particular activity including travel and additional research to make sure that all of the little unexpected tasks don’t continue to encroach on other areas. We’ll see.
Posted by cami on 04 Jan 2008 | Tagged as: Life
If you do business with a company and they mess something up, do you give them a second chance? Does it make a difference what type of institution it is, i.e. are you more liking to forgive a department store or salon versus a mechanic or bank? Do you consider how the problem is handled in part of your decision? Here’s why I ask:
Earlier this year I had to take my car into the mechanic’s and it turns out the problem was that the company who changed my oil hadn’t replaced the filter correctly. Now it was a little problem when I took it in, but it could have turned into a big problem (destroyed engine). When I contacted the other company, they gave me and my mechanic the run around for months. Since then, I’ve heard from my mechanic that they have had other customers come into their shop with the exact same problem due to the continued negligence of the “Oil Change Shop”. Now the Oil Change Shop has not only lost me as a customer, but I warn everyone I know about them and I believe a letter to the Better Business Bureau is in order.
On the other hand, I had a problem with online access to a online bank account just before New Year’s. The people were really nice but there was no one who could help me get access to my money for over 36 hours. Needless to say, this did not make me happy. On the one hand you would think that online banks would have better tech support, but I hear that many seem to take the help yourself approach. At the same time, they did fix the problem courteously once their little holiday was over and I do like having my money in a separate account. So now I’m trying to decide if I should just stick with it barring no more problems while keeping my eye out for better opportunities or stick the money back in to my main bank’s savings account (which pays quite a bit less interest). I think that part of the problem is that I am so accustomed to outstanding, readily available support from my main bank that I get easily frustrated when dealing with other financial institutions. I guess they just totally have me spoiled!
Posted by cami on 21 Dec 2007 | Tagged as: Life
So, I had an interesting shall we call it discussion with my mother the other night. During this ‘conversation’, I am quite sure that she accused me of trying to plan out my life. This is frankly ludicrous. I dare say that I have one of the most unplanned lives in the family (however, I dared not say this to my mother). I think that my mother’s challenge and the challenge of many is that they don’t realize there is a difference between planning and being prepared.
Here’s an example. I have an emergency fund which can be used to repair my car in an emergency situation. It’s not that I’m planning on having a vehicular malfunction, it’s just that I am cognizant of the fact that car parts can wear down and need to be fixed or replaced, especially as a car gets older. Hence I am prepared. Personally, I think that trying to plan your life is silly: there are so many factors that you can’t control that this seems to be a big waste of time. However I do see the advantage of financially and emotionally preparing oneself for life’s little surprises. Through my adult life I have made a number of big (and small) decisions that were unplanned, but which I was prepared for. It’s not that I make these decisions flippantly, but I do make them all the same.
Here’s an example: I had considered going back to the east coast for Christmas, but I hadn’t really planned on it and let it fall aside. After Thanksgiving however I decided to reconsider going back east, and looked at some plane fares. Given then I had a travel voucher from the summer and a travel fund, I was able to find some tickets that would work and purchased them. Now I had by no means planned to go back for Christmas, but I got to thinking that it might be nice. Since I had funds in place to provide for the trip, it wasn’t a big deal for me to alter my original plan. However, if I didn’t have the funds in place that would have been unwise. I don’t think that we can (or should try to) plan everything as there is just so much that isn’t up to us and intense planning can lead to feelings of resentment if things don’t go our way. But personally I see nothing wrong with being prepared to cope with life’s unforeseen opportunities and challenges. Do you think there’s a difference? Do you feel that one is a more worthwhile approach than the other?
Posted by cami on 29 Oct 2007 | Tagged as: Finance, Life
I love my family and friends. But there are times, when frankly, I just can’t go there. And depending on the person and the issue, finance is often one of those areas that makes those times occur. One of the problems with personal finance, is that it is well, personal. And despite the fact that you might have a perfectly rational, objective opinion, that’s not what people often want to hear when it comes to things as personal as their money. The hard part is that even if you don’t necessarily bring up the topic, it will just come out in general conversation. Someone will tell you how they dumped money into their useless car or how they’re planning a vacation (which you know that they really can’t afford). So you hem and haw and try to change the subject, because the last time they asked your opinion and you gave it, they were really affronted.
Sometimes it bugs me that I take this approach, that if I truly believe in something, or know that someone’s course of action is not the right approach, then doggone it I should tell them. I’m not talking about things like quibbling over different mutual funds, but responding when someone informs you that they are going to spend most of their small savings on buying new furniture or putting concert tickets on their recently un-maxed out credit card. However, I have found that harmonious relations are better than letting someone know they that are wrong, even if they are. I have also found that I’m not the only person who takes this line of approach. I like to read a number of different blogs, many with a slant towards personal finance. In one of the blogs I read, posters have no problem criticizing people in newspaper articles for poor financial decisions, but many also admit having limited success with friends and family, and just letting topics drop. While some may see that as hypocritical, I don’t. People who volunteer their financial information for newspapers have basically invited critiques of their situations, essentially I feel that they are allowing themselves to be used as a case study. However, if someone you care about asks for your opinion on a financial matter, they are looking for information before the decision is made. As such I feel there’s nothing wrong with giving them basic advice, or pointing them to a good book or website. If you feel that the decision is beyond you, then say ‘I really don’t feel that I can help you with that.’ Some people will take the advice, some won’t. But you put it out there. It’s then up to them to be responsible and process the information; if they choose not to listen to it, fine. And sometimes people aren’t asking for advice, but simply making a statement, and you’ll just cause all sorts of drama if you break down why they are making the wrong decision.
Personally, I won’t hound anyone with information once they know my feelings on the matter. If someone hasn’t specifically asked for my opinion, I may express a concern, and then I move on. I’ve found that saying the same thing over and over is not effective if people are determined not to hear what you have to say and it just puts a strain on your relationship. The true challenge though is after they’ve made a bad decision and they want you to commiserate with them, once things don’t work out. However, that’s a whole different topic for another day, and I don’t even think that I am equipped to give advice on that anyway.
Posted by cami on 25 Oct 2007 | Tagged as: Life
I often hear people talking about determining your needs and wants. I don’t really have a hard time defining what’s a true want, and many things that are true needs, but I feel that I have a lot of options that fall in the middle, in some sort of nebulous category that no one every really talks about. I think that it’s because there’s a bit of difference between bare bones life needs and other needs. Sometimes there’s a basic need but how I fill it might depend on my wants. For example, I need shelter, but buying a big house is a want. The same thing goes for food, transportation, and other life necessities. I need to eat, but I don’t have to eat expensive, fancy food. I need to get back and forth to my employment source, but I can walk, bike, carpool, etc. So perhaps how you fill a basic necessity determines whether or not it’s a need. True wants are a bit easier for me to define. I know that there are things in my life that are purely wants even if I have a clear use for them. For example, buying scrapbook supplies or a extra swimsuit are definite wants; they don’t contribute to anything that I need for life.
One of the things that I am struggling with are the items that are in the middle: in this category are things that aren’t basic life needs, but make a marked improvement in comfort. Here’s an example: I [blank] a vacuum. Now, I can live without a vacuum, but life is much better with one. I had one in my last locale, but it wasn’t very good. I ended up borrowing one from my neighbors when I needed a really good one; and since I’ve moved I’ve been employing the same strategy. However, this is not a very good long-term solution. While I don’t have a lot of carpet in my current apartment, I do have some carpet. Now you’re probably thinking – ‘girl you need to go and get yourself a vacuum’. Yes, Yes I will, but the problem really is that it’s hard to prioritize all the little things that fall in between basic needs and material wants. Then there’s a category of expectations for your job, social clubs, etc. For example, I am expected to become a member of certain professional organizations as this results in a great discount on conference memberships. Trying to live on a limited spending budget and balancing all these things is hard. While the professional organizations aren’t basic life needs, there are pretty much considered requirements for my position. And a vacuum is easily justifiable, since it makes it much more pleasant to breathe, especially when it’s hot and my dog is shedding like mad. Though there are ways to get around some of these issues (my book fund is enough to cover the cost of organization memberships), I’m finding that defining what you need and what you want, especially when there are certain external requirements and expectations, isn’t always as easy as it seems.